The Impermanence Of Life And The Significance Of Being Present In The World Of Abundance.

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Since April, my little family in Oregon has been navigating injuries, recoveries, pain, and growth. What we learned together leads to a deeper and more profound appreciation of the Abundance Mindset.

by Zhou Fang, Intersectional Group

The Impermanence of Life.

Lesson 1

On a seemingly uneventful evening in April, a week before our trip to Atlanta for my dear friend's wedding, my partner fell on the floor, face down, and fractured his neck and damaged some ligament (in doctor's plain words, he broke his neck).

It became clear quickly that we would have to cancel the Atlanta trip (and other plans in the spring and summer) because my partner was required to wear a neck brace for 3 months. (In TCM, aka Traditional Chinese Medicine, it takes at least 100 days, or a little longer than 3 months, for a major injury to heal. 伤筋动骨100天.)

From April to July, we would find ourselves in new learning areas where I became a regular caregiver (go here to read about when the roles were reversed) and he became the reluctant patient and care-receiver. As you can imagine, that created some unexpected tension, realizations, reckoning, pain, conversations, and growth. We would navigate, together, a first-hand experience of the push-and-pull between collectivism/interdependence and individualism/independence. The obvious yet hard truth: life is impermanent and we can never be self-sufficient (or never need assistance). We need each other and we are interconnected and interdependent. It is not a failure. It is to be reckoned with, accepted, and welcomed.

Even in recent weeks, after the removal of the neck brace, recovery was not immediate. My partner is still adjusting to his newly "brace free" life, where the physical support is gone and he needs to re-train his muscles to do the work. Because he can't see himself, I regularly remind him to relax his shoulders (to not overcompensate) and build back his neck muscles. Not too different from when we were teenagers, trying to keep a good posture and not slouch. A humbling and illuminating experience for the both of us.

Lesson 2

Two weeks after my partner was allowed to take off the neck brace, my dog was bitten by a larger dog on his right ear. Unfortunately, the other dog owner fled. We rushed to the hospital, went through some back-and-forth, eventually, my dog got stitches and was stabilized. For two weeks, he had to wear a cone. Luckily, the wound was small enough to heal fairly quickly.

Interestingly, I now have PTSD encountering larger dogs on a hike, at a park, or on a walk. It is normal, I know, at the same time, another humbling and illuminating experience.

The takeaway: we never know what is going to happen next. The impermanence of life, or the unpredictability of life events, not only adds uncertainty and anxiety to our lives, it also sends us a clear signal:

Live life fully, Be present, and Stay hopeful. Because no matter what happens, deep inside, we have all the tools we need to navigate and resolve issues.

The Significance of Being Present In the World of Abundance.

Because of the impermanence of life, we are left with, generally speaking, two options: Stop living, and Living fully. Depending on our perspective, or mindset, one of the options will make sense. If we always operate on the scarcity mindset, we will retreat and retract. Some of us will be shaken so badly that they will fight, flight, and freeze. If we don't always operate on the scarcity mindset, in other words, if we, even sometimes, operate on the Abundance Mindset, we will collect ourselves, regulate our nervous systems, gather courage, and greet life with our full selves.

How to greet life with our full selves? Being present. The word yesterday, in Chinese, is 昨天 (zuó tiān), meaning "day that's past". The word tomorrow, in Chinese, is 明天 (míng tiān), meaning "day yet to come". The word present, in Chinese, is 现在 (xiàn zài), meaning "the right here and now". If we cling to the past, or yesterday, thinking, "I wish things were the same", we won't be able to move forward or grow. If we only look forward to the future, or tomorrow, thinking, "I hope tomorrow is better", we won't be able to act to it because that is very much wishful thinking. The only thing that we have some control of, is the "right here and now". Nothing in this life is guaranteed, life is impermanent, but we have today, the present, and the moment we are in now, to live fully. That fully-ness, in spite of the impermanence of life, is Abundance. "I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow, but I do know, that I can write this article well, and publish it." "I don't know what is going to happen next week, but I do know, that I will spend time with my family in nature this weekend." "I didn't have a good week earlier, but I do know, that I have a new opportunity to make this week a better one."

Be at the here and now, be present, and be abundant.

Tomorrow Is Not Guaranteed, But Today Can Be Sweet.

You may think, "Isn't that pessimistic to think that tomorrow is not guaranteed?" Being present and having no hope for the future (or in some cases, becoming a hedonist) are very different life practices.

Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed for us, we still choose to live today fully. That choice and action in itself, is a sign of hope and abundance. "If all we have is today, let's make the most of it. And who knows, tomorrow may still come. And if does, what a gift that is."

Of course, there is a fine line between "being present and hopeful" and "nothing matters let's give up". How do we choose Being Present over and over, day after day? Active Hope. Live everyday with joy, pride, and care. Live everyday as if your whole world depends on it. Live everyday with hope in action.

in love and abundance,

Zhou Fang